Young townies and tourists find unlikely love at first sight

This rules.

FORT PIERCE, Fla. — A 300-pound prostitute robbed a man of $100 before pedaling away on a blue bicycle, according to a police report.

The case of the hefty hooker happened about 1:10 a.m. Monday as the 32-year-old man rode his bicycle when the assailant came up to him.

“The female approached asking (the alleged victim) did he want a date, which meant she wanted him to pay for some sex,” the report states.

The man told investigators he felt sorry for the woman and pulled $10 from his wallet to give to her. That’s when she allegedly pushed him off his bicycle and wrestled him down. She snatched his wallet, stole $100 and then pedaled off.

The alleged victim, who wasn’t injured, described his assailant as weighing 300 pounds and clad in blue jeans and a white T-shirt.

An officer searched the area but couldn’t find the woman.



  1. stu

    proof, once again, that feeling sorry for fat people is just plain wrong.

  2. Why do fat people always walk in the middle of the aisle? The skinny people always pick a side and stay on it. But fat people locate the geometric center of the aisle and then waddle down an imaginary line bisecting it. And they waddle from side to side so that if you attempt to pass them, you collide with their sweaty arms. Not wanting to bump into them and risk knocking the jelly doughnut from their hand, I have to pull off a double-flip somersault with a half-twist just to get the checkout line before the next ice age.

    Maybe they walk down the center to remain equidistant to the food on either side. I don’t know. But I do know they should pick a side and stay on it. And if you have a fat friend with you, and you, yourself are fat, for Christ’s sake, walk SINGLE FILE — just like the line at the Krispy Kreme. When you walk side-by-side, you’re violating several fire codes.

    Oh, and fat people make nasty hookers 🙂 But of course I’d still hit it

  3. This may be the greatest news story in the history of Western Civilization. I just wish we had video.

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